If you ask your parents and grandparents advice on finding the love of your life, most of them will come back with things such as, “get out there and meet new people”, or “join a club or go to the gym”, “come to church I have a nice girl I want you to meet’, or “go out and have a few drinks, you never know who you might meet.” But meeting people in person is not as easy as it used to be – especially considering the average person works more hours than ever before.
Most of our single friends and co-workers are on online dating apps. They have a plethora of men or women at their fingertips. Shoot, you can even narrow it down by their age, education, and body size. It’s like online shopping, except for the perfect mate. But is it right for YOU?
Dating online is a whole new experience – sometimes its like looking at a resume before hiring someone. You have a general idea about the person (or at least what they want you to know) and you can decide if it’s worth your time to talk to them.
But if you think about it, if you meet someone through a friend or family, you don’t really know much about them except what they’ve told your friend or your family. Sure they can tell you what they look like (and at least you don’t have to worry about a photo being super edited, or 20 years old), but it can still be a mystery. You are kind of thrown into a date before really knowing it you’ll hit it off -but with online dating, at least you can get an idea if you vibe or not.
Do You Have Trouble Meeting New People?
For some, its hard to meet new people. Maybe you are like me, a bit reserved and maybe too shy to introduce yourself. Maybe you are just used to hanging out with the same people, at the same places. Maybe people don’t approach you. As we get older its even harder – working all the time, maybe you have kids that keep you super busy and have lots of responsibilities. Online dating can help.
Don’t Have a Lot of Free Time?
A lot of us are crazy busy people – we take the kids to school, go to work, run errands, run to doctors appointments ,go to the gym, take care of pets, do all the housework, run kids to sports or other activities, visit your parents or other family, and half the time we are lucky if we make it home to eat a late dinner and fall asleep catching up on our shows. How are you supposed to meet people then?
At least with online dating you can get match suggestions emailed to you, and then decide if they are even worth typing a text ‘hello’; if you get to that point, then you can talk and get to know each other throughout your week, like calling or messaging during lunch, while waiting for your daughter to finish soccer, or while doing laundry. You can ‘date’ and get to know people before wasting any precious time.
Do You Know Someone Whose Gotten Lucky?
Did you know that now more than 20% of relationships, and 17% of marriages begin online? Most likely you know someone or know someone that knows someone who has found a date, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or even a husband/wife online! You can definitely ask them about their experiences and get tips if you are feeling overwhelmed.
Most of my friends – and some family – have met their significant other online. They all say it was nice to get to know someone before going out with them, and when they met it was not uncomfortable since they had been talking for so long. It was as if they had known each other for ever. This helps a lot if you are nervous or anxious when meeting new people; so online really could be the way for you.
Have You Already Tried Everything Else?
Maybe you went out with your co-workers brother, your Aunt gave you the number to her banker, your Mom set you up with the nice guy at church, or your sister had someone she just ‘knew’ you’d hit it off with . If you’ve tried it, been open to all of that – then you might as well give online dating a try.
There are a ton of free dating sites so you don’t even have to commit – just give it a try!
The first step is to admit you have a problem – generally speaking most people in credit card debt didn’t get there paying their rent and regular month to month bills (though it can happen on occasion, however) we overspend. We like it, we buy it. We YOLO our lives (that’s me, I’ve always been about the YOLO) so as much as you do need to live in the moment, you need to be smart, and think about the future. My Dad used to tell me, “Live like there is no tomorrow, but plan as if you’ll live forever.” Balance is key, and you can still enjoy life -but first, we need to get finances under control.
