All In A Days Work

A lot of couples go through blah times in their sex lives, and wonder what they can do to make it more exciting.  People explore a lot of different varieties to bring the spice – but thanks to books and movies like Fifty Shades of Grey the BDSM experimenting is booming!

For some people the thought of being tied up, whipped, gagged, chained, flogged, and ‘forced’ to have sex is exciting. But for others they can be a bit hesitant on what BDSM really means and the protocols for such things; so in order for everyone to have fun, feel safe and comfortable, you need to set some ground rules.

The biggest part to getting started with BDSM, is communication. It is easy to get caught up in the moment during , but it’s very easy for people to take it too far and then someone gets emotionally or physically hurt. You can always talk to others in the community and make some BDSM contacts.

PHYSICAL SAFETY
If you are a newbie, you want to do some research. Find some various types of play scenarios and actions and see if you’d be comfortable with them. Go through the list with your partner to see what turns you on, makes you feel safe, and the most important – a list of things you are TOTALLY not in to whatsoever.

KNOW YOUR LIMITS
You have boundaries in your regular day to day life, yes? It’s the same , if not more important, in your sex life. You must set – and know – your limits in BDSM. What type of play, hard limits/soft limits ,etc. (soft limits are where you are sure if you are comfortable, nothing is set in stone, and you may open up to it more after experiencing it – hard limits are an absolute 100% no no. Your partner should know both of these). It’s important that both people in the BDSM relationship have set limits and are communicating about them.

SAFE WORDS
Safe words are just that, and means to STOP/HALT/DON’T GO ANY FURTHER – lights back on, cuffs or ropes removed, DONE. Both parties should have a safe word and no matter what is is the absolute FINAL SAY , I don’t care how the other party feels. a safe word is called SAFE for a reason.

CHECK IN
Generally speaking BDSM isn’t a wham,bam, thank you ma’am type of evening. This is a marathon, not a race. You need to respect, and care about your partner and check in with them regularly. Maybe if you have music playing in the background, you check in every other song, or even set an alarm of some sort. Sometimes the other person may totally be DONE, but scared to say anything. If you check in, you can read your partners mood, and figure out if you can keep going or if you need to call it quits for the evening.

NEED A PARTNER?
If you are totally into BDSM but haven’t met the right one yet, check out sites like mybdsmhookups.com – hey, you never know, you could meet your perfect match!

Dating can be tough – especially nowadays when there’s photo filters, fake profiles, and airbrushing! If you are tired of the same ol’ same ol’, and you are ready for a mature relationship, you should check out cougar dating.

A ‘cougar’ woman is just a woman who is passionate about love and life and usually date men who are a bit younger than them. Sometimes it can be known as being a bit ‘taboo’ or just sexual, and that’s not always the case. Some men are tired of  the games and drama that comes with dating younger women – and older women sometimes get sick of dating older men who turn into ‘fuddy duddys’ – so the site makes perfect sense! 

The women on the site are confident , classy, and just ready to get out there and enjoy life! 

The website attracts men in their 20s, 30’s, 40’ (and even some hotties in their 50’s) and down to earth, sophisticated and classy (and a bit sassy) mature women. You don’t get the drama like you do with younger girls on the site, no bad attitudes, and you can chat with people and meet in a safe, friendly environment with no pressure! ‘Cougar’ dating is less taboo than it was in the past, and society has gradually came to accept that women in certain age category should not be critiqued for wanting to live life and enjoy it! 

It does seem that women of a certain age arouses curiosity in younger men – and it’s not hard to see why. Of course the definition of a cougar is a classy, sultry vixen who has their own money and own life. Confident, alluring and always at ease. Why wouldn’t younger men be attracted to them?

Most of the women on the site want a down to earth, easy going man that they can go out and have a good time with. Most of them don’t require to be wined and dined necessarily, they want a man who is full of life and energy (in and out of the bedroom!) Most don’t care how much money you make or even what you do for a living – they just want to keep the spice in their life!

Whether you are looking for something different, something just for fun, or maybe a long term relationship without all the drama, the cougar dating site is the place to look! I have heard soo many success stories from both men and women who have used the site My Cougar Dates, take a look:
Josh, 33

I’ve dated a few ladies in my time, a lot of them have been around the same age as me. I joined this site to see what everyone was talking about, I must say that I have had my mind blown a couple of times by some of these women!

Tracey, 46

Ever since my divorce I haven’t found a guy that can quite fill the gap. My curiosity led me to this site and now I can’t get enough of the men!

Becky, 48

I’ve always been into younger men, something about the energy they have in their youth attracts me. I signed up and found someone to date within 2 weeks, it’s been a great experience.

The Dominant and Submissive aspect of a relationship is apart of the BDSM lifestyle. Some people call it a ‘kink’. Some people are into all things you can think of when mentioning BDSM, and sometimes people like to pick and chose – like the dom/sub part of the equation.

In femdom dating , the Dom usually  ‘dominates’ the other, kind of has a ‘power’ over them, so to speak. A lot of people find it exciting, and as you know sex and power just seem to mix. Think of all the romance novels of the poor damsel in distress waiting for her knight in shining armor to rescue her – her strong, powerful prince coming to save her and control her.

What a Dom/ Sub Relationship is Like

If someone says they are a dom or they have a dom/sub relationship, it most likely includes (ok 110% pretty sure) includes power play in their sex life – and it usually rolls into the rest of their relationship as well. In a couple there is usually a dom and a sub, or sometimes there is a switch, which means they can be either.

Some people are a little into the dom/sub power exchange, like the “go get me a beer woman!” or a do this or that aggressor. Others will go all out, and the dominant person may not only order the sub around, but also restrain or punish them in some way. Sometimes they will act out fantasy roles, such as teacher/student, cop/robber, etc.

Though they are few and far between, some do this lifestyle 24/7. Others will just do it on the weekend, or a few nights a week. That power boss man who everyone cowers in fear of? He could be the sub at home; and visa versa. Most of the time you would never know the relationship of a sub/dom unless they told you about it.

Though the media seems to portray BDSM a bit negative – associating it with violence, danger, abuse and crime, real BDSM couples are way different than you would assume. Most are no different than you when it comes to their lives or upbringing, and probably are closer to a 50 Shade relationship then some psychotic thriller movie.

How Do You Get Started?
If you think you may be interested in a dom/sub relationship , the first and most important step is to communicate what is a go and what is a no-go sexually, and non-sexually. Who would play what role, and talk about what you would expect from each other. If you don’t have a partner, try a site to find mistress dating.

Create a list of all the sexual practices you can think of, and then each person writes yes/no or maybe about whether it would be something that you’d be willing to try or if it may be of interest to you. It can also be a good time to talk about fantasies or stories, and if you are interested in making them come to life. It is soo soo important that you only try what each other really wants to try, and that you aren’t forcing the other person to go along with what you want. (this can lead to other issues, and you don’t want that).