The divorce process is a stressful and can bring out the worst in people – some use it as a way to get revenge , or completely trying to ruin the other person’s life. Though divorce gets you out of an unhappy or unhealthy marriage, it can also wreak havoc if you don’t know what to ask – check out things to know before contacting a divorce attorney.
Make Sure it’s Over
No matter how many times you’ve threatened divorce, once you contact and meet an attorney, everything changes. It’s the toothpaste that can’t go back in the tube, a line that can’t be uncrossed – you get my drift. Don’t rush into contacting one until you know for sure there is no going back.
Surround Yourself with Family and Friends..and maybe a Therapist
Most people going through a divorce will be a train wreck. You have all sorts of emotions – and you are making some major life-changing decisions during the divorce process. Surround yourself with family and friends that you trust to rely on and help you make the right decisions. Talking to a therapist can also be a good choice to make while you are trying to figure out all of your emotions.
Put Your Kids First
So many people get too into their emotions and let their hurt and pain get in the way of doing what is best for their children. I promise – “this too shall pass” , however, it will stay with your children forever.
Realize what will – and what could – happen. Its great to have your friends and family, and therapist and lawyer, and financial advisor there – but you need to know that only YOU can decide ultimately what is best for you and your family.
Don’t Hide Your Assets: Make Purchases BEFORE the Divorce
You need to be completely transparent when going thru a divorce – if a Judge thinks you are hiding ANYTHING , things can go wrong for you really fast. Be open and honest; and if you plan to get a new car, a new boat, etc, do it BEFORE they start calculating who owes what at the divorce proceedings. That way they will take into account your new car payment, or maybe your kids private school tuition.
SafeGuard Irreplaceable Items
Inherit a broach from your Great-Grandma? A gun from your Grandpa? Family photos you don’t have copies of? Have family hold onto it. As I said, divorce can get icky, and though you would love to think your soon to be ex would NEVER damage or steal these things, you really never know how someone is going to react after being served divorce papers.
Get a P.O. Box
Again with the ‘what if’s” – sure you think they’d give you your paperwork and bills -but bitter people are known to do some crazy things. Change your mailing address and make sure all your important stuff goes to the P.O. Box, especially any paperwork from your lawyer.
Try to Settle Outside of Court
Hire a mediator, or have your lawyers meet together to discuss – but do your best to get things done outside of court. Divorces can cost upwards of $15,000 – if you can be civil enough, save you both some money and work it out outside the courtroom.
Don’t Allow Smack Talk – period.
Divorce can make the best parent talk smack to their children about the other parent; don’t allow it. Make a deal – for your children’s best interest – to keep the ill will to friends or therapist. Not to the kids or even each other (its hard enough as it is)
Hire a Good Attorney
If you for sure can’t make it work, make sure to at least hire a good divorce attorney like Quinn & Lynch P.A. You want an attorney who has been around the block a time or two, and can give you good advice and help you protect your assets.